


Urban Legend

by Themadwomanwhoisunfortunatelylackingabox



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Ballroom Dancing, Based on a Tumblr Post, Benzaiten is mentioned liberally, Juno Steel is a Cryptid of the intergalactic ballroom dance community, Juno is just as good of a dancer as Ben he just doesn't know it, Junoverse | Juno Steel Universe, M/M, Oblivious Juno Steel, Peter Nureyev Alias Generator (Penumbra Podcast), Post-Episode: s03e01-02 Juno Steel and the Man in Glasses, admittedly my tumblr post, but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23639728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themadwomanwhoisunfortunatelylackingabox/pseuds/Themadwomanwhoisunfortunatelylackingabox
Summary: “Oh my god, it’s him,” the mark gasps, breathless, and Peter has to tamp down on the jealousy that rolls poisonously in his gut.“Hm?” Peter says, barely keeping his voice under control. “Who do you mean?”“Juno Steel, don’t you see him?”
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 29
Kudos: 234





	Urban Legend

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, so I was thinking about my head canon that Juno's just as good of a dancer as Ben is, he just doesn't realize it, and then i was like, wouldn't it be funny if Peter had to listen to some old ballroom dancer wax poetic about Juno Steel, the urban legend of the galaxy's best follow who disappeared from the world, and then this fic suddenly appeared 4 hours later. Enjoy

The heist is, all and all, going well. Peter and Juno are posing, once again, as outer rim newlyweds at a party hosted by an incredibly rich if incredibly unpleasant individual who may or may not have a very specific book in their—incredibly well guarded—collection. But as someone once taught Peter long ago, a thief doesn’t have to care about the big picture. So instead of approaching the cantankerous and rather grim looking host, Peter sets his eyes on a much easier mark—their husband. 

The plan is simple, really. Peter will worm his way into the husband’s good graces by commiserating about having an older, inattentive partner who hardly looks Peter’s way anymore, at least in comparison to the glory days when Peter was a beautiful model, or singer, or other pretty, glamorous professional, back in his prime. Then, while Juno acts as lookout and keeps their host busy, Peter will mention something abouthow it’s not something he wants to talk about in public, and oh, was there a chance they could go somewhere to be alone? Perhaps, maybe, a library, so no one would get the wrong idea, and they could drown their sorrows of lost youth together amongst the books.

Yes, he’s just about there now, the husband is looking out onto the dance floor and murmuring about when he used to be a professional dancer, back before he met his spouse. Peter’s just about to make a similar commentabout when he met Juno’s cover, when— the husband gasps. His eyes are wide, and he’s staring straight across the dance floor— straight at Juno, across the dance floor, and Peter realizes that something is going very, very wrong. 

“Oh my god, it’s _him_ ,” the mark gasps, breathless, and Peter has to tamp down on the jealousy that rolls poisonously in his gut. There was no way their mark could know Juno. How the hell would he know Juno? Their mark was from Venus, how on earth would he know one of many PIs from Mars? 

“Hm?” Peter says, barely keeping his voice under control. “Who do you mean?”

“Juno Steel, don’t you see him?” He still has that same breathless, dreamy tone to him, and Peter has to try very, very hard to keep his fingers from crushing the incredibly delicate champagne flute they held.“I thought it was Benzaiten, at first, but everyone knows Benzaiten Steel died years ago. No, it must be him.”

“Oh? And how do you know this…Mr. Steel?” Peter says, calming himself. Just because Juno’s cover was blown didn’t mean his was. And they needed this heist to succeed. Who knew when they would get another chance? Rumor had it that their host was just as possessive and protective over their husband as they were their collection, a fact which Peter would be far more concerned about if their plan wasn’t falling to pieces around them, and these kind of elaborate parties, where Peter could slip in without a trace, were only hosted once a year. For their mark’s birthday, or so it seemed.

“I only saw him the once. Twenty-two years ago , or so, I think. Mars’s annual ballroom dancing competition, in Hyperion city. This was back before Benzaiten had switched almost exclusively to ballet, y’know. He did ballroom sometimes, back then, but his usual partner had apparently gotten the flu or something—I don’t know, no one really cared. A few of us were maybe a little happy, even. With Benzaiten Steel out of the running, that meant a better chance for the rest of us, y’know? It’s mean, but it’s true.”

“Of course.” Peter simpers, laying ahand on his shoulder. This situation could still be salvageable, perhaps. They’d just have to commiserate something else, like fading beauty and a love for Juno Steel that was impossible to shake, perhaps. Of course, Peter’s love for Juno was delightfully requited, so he obviously couldn’t completely commiserate, but, needs must, of course.

“But then it turns out, last minute, he finds a partner. His twin brother, Juno Steel. And—I’d never been more glad in my life that I’d gone to that competition. Watching them dance—it was like air.”

“Oh?”

“I mean, seeing Benzaiten dance was always a treat, you know? But his brother—seeing them dance together, it was like nothing I’d ever seen before. They just knew, intrinsically, what the other was going to do. It was like there wasn’t even two people there at all, just the one.” He says, “They won the competition, of course. It wasn’t even a question. They were something else entirely. Hell, Juno alone is something of an urban legend in the dancing community; the perfect follow who showed up for one competition and then disappeared ever since. Some people thought he died at the same time as Benzaiten, some people thought he’d never existed in the first place—I heard that the Intergalactic Ballroom Dance Committee invited him personally to compete in various competitions, but he never responded.” 

“I—I see.”

“I never thought I’d see him again in the flesh, let alone so long after, let alone at my own Wedding Anniversary party—”

So it wasn’t a birthday party then. Hm. Venusian customs were so difficult to comprehend sometimes.

“I have to talk to him. I have to say something—”

And oh no, no that can’t happen. For one, Juno’s still pretending to be Hera Marquis, the rich and somewhat emotionally unavailable wife to Damien Marquis, and if their mark finds that out, then their covers really will be blown. 

“And oh, my, do you think he’d dance with me? Perhaps, if I asked kindly enough?”

“But—I—“ An excuse, he needs an excuse. “Don’t you thinkyour partner will mind?” He says, “I mean, it’s your own anniversary party, and you haven’t even danced with them once tonight.”

“Oh, please,” the mark laughs. “Jules isn’t that jealous. Theyjust don’t like dancing. They say it’s because they feel bad that they’re not as good as me, can you believe that. They always go on like that when they’re in a mood, you know. That I should’ve married someone else, someone better, someone younger, as if I didn’t marry them for a reason, you know, and—and—does your wife ever get like this?”

“Sometimes,” Peter says diplomatically, because that’s better than saying: actually, he left me in a Martian hotel room because he was too afraid that I would leave him and too afraid to let himself have something good in his life. “Maybe we could talk about it more somewhere else? More private?”

“Hm? What, no, I have to meet Juno Steel. This is a once in a lifetime chance and—you don’t suppose Jules invited him to surprise me, do you?” 

“Um.” Peter says.

“Oh, that’d explain why I hadn’t heard anything about it before! And why Jules has been sulking so terribly lately—they do get jealous, you know, but they try to hide it, it’s so sweet. They probably invited him so that I’d have somebody to dance with—andoh that’s so sweet of them, I think I will force them to dance with me later, no matter what they say—but there’s no way I’m letting it get away from me. Come on!”

And then suddenly their mark is dragging Peter far away from the tucked away corner alcove next to the door nearest to the library, and straight across the dance floor to Juno. It is not discreet. Peter tries to signal to Juno not to say anything, that his cover has been blown, but it doesn’t work. Instead, Juno calls out to him.

“Uh, honey? Is something the matter?” Juno’s one dark eye stares back at him, concerned and quizzical, and for a moment Peter wants to get lost in it, because Juno really does look beautiful like this, dressed in shining silks and finery, the wings on his eyeliner pointed just so. But Peter can’t. Because the minute Juno says it, their mark turns to Peter with shocked eyes, and he must do damage control.

“I—your husband is—”

“I hadn’t wanted to say anything,” Peter says, wracking his mind for explanations, explanations. Something to make sure that their mark’s partner doesn’t get called over and the cops don’t get called. “But I’m afraid you’re right after all. Your partner did invite my wife, to give you the chance to dance with your idol, Juno Steel.” Juno is glaring daggers through him right now, probably intending to convey something along the lines of _what the hell do you think you’re doing, Nureyev,_ but Peter can’t truly be bothered to care.

“Oh, but, but—I thought you said your wife was named Hera?”

“An old earth tradition,” he says. “To change your name to a different form whenever you get a haircut.”

“Oh, I see, I see,” their mark says. “Traditions are important, of course.” 

“Yeah,” Juno says. “Real important.”

“Anyway, _my darling Hera,_ our friend here was just telling me about your extremely brief stardom in the world of ballroom dance.”

For a moment, Juno just stares at him from over his champagne glass. “I’m sorry, what?”

Their mark, however, is more than willing to jump in. “With your brother, around twenty years ago? At the intergalactic ballroom dance competition?”

“Oh, yeah, I think I remember that. I mean, I don’t think I’d call myself a star, though. You probably just got me confused with someone else.”

“No, no, I know who you are. You were an inspiration to me, back when I danced competitively, you know!”

“I really think you’re getting me mixed up with Benzaiten, here,” Juno says, “He was the dancer, not me. I mean, all I really did during that contest was go where he led,” he says, “It’s not like it’s hard.”

Their mark makes a noise somewhere between a gasp and a sob. It is not quiet, and if he keeps doing it, it will undoubtably draw attention from his partner across the room, and the jig will really be up. So, Peter forces a laugh. “Oh, Hera, ever the jokester, aren’t you?” He says, “So humble. But you did promise our friend’s partner that you’d dance with them, didn’t you? It was the entire reason we came here.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Right.”

“But of course, I know you do not want to dance in front of all these people!”

“Oh, uh—I don’t?”

“Of course not! After all, your incredible stage fright is the reason why you only competed that one time,isn’t it? Even despite the letters from the Intergalactic Ballroom Dance Commission begging for your return to the stage?”

“I thought everybody got those letters, y’know, like when you donate blood for the first time and then the pink cross keeps calling after you—” Juno cuts himself off, “I mean, uh, yeah. Incredibly….shy. Can’t dance in front of people. Yep.”

“Oh, I see!” Their mark says, eyes shining.

“Which is why we must ask you, our friend, is—I don’t suppose there’s somewhere else where we might be able to? Away from all of these prying eyes, you know.”

“Of course! Oh—but there’s servants everywhere but the library, and I don’t know—”

“Perfect! Hera, darling, weren’t you just telling me the other day about how just the mere presence of books around you sets you at ease, and it makes your dancing all the better?”

“Uh….yeah, sure.”

“Then we must dance in the library!” Their mark proclaims.

“Splendid! Oh, but weren’t you just telling me that the library is where your husband keeps all of his more valuable items, and I just don’t know how well Hera’s stage fright would react to the presence of cameras…”

“Huh? Oh, uh, no. The, uh, thought of cameras there…makes me faint. Yep.”

“I’m certain I could turn off the cameras, of course, just for a second. I mean, nothing can happen with just us in there, just for a dance, of course?”

Peter grins. “Of course not. Everything will be perfectly fine.”

“Exactly!” Their mark smiles, sweet and naive.

“Oh, and, just one more thing?” He whispers to the husband as Juno walks behind them. “Don’t mention this to your partner. I think if you brought it up, they’d be a little embarrassed, don’t you think? You know how spouses can be.”

“Of course,” their mark promises. “They won’t hear a single thing from me."

**Author's Note:**

> see the post that inspired it all: https://there-goes-all-the-cotton-candy.tumblr.com/post/615176082195382272/headcanon-that-junos-a-super-good-dancer-as-a
> 
> anyway also i draw penumbra art sometimes <3 (aka almost exclusively these days bc lord knows this podcast has taken over my life)
> 
> https://here-comes-all-the-cotton-candy.tumblr.com/


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